Stress-related illness is not a lightning bolt. It is grinding drill.
It doesn’t strike suddenly; it works away at you, like storm surf on a weak dam,
until something gives way and the waves rush in.
In the wake of Jonathon Trott’s announcement that he is, in fact,
suffering from a stress-related illness, and is leaving the Ashes series in
Australia and returning home to England, I have been thinking back to my own
scrape with stress.
For me it came to a head at work, at what was actually the end of what
had been a long and stressful transition which I had been overseeing. There
should have been light at the end of the tunnel; instead there was encroaching
darkness. I thought I was having a heart attack; I went to my desk and put my
feet up for a while, though, and seemed to be OK. It wasn’t a heart attack. But
what was it? A trip to the doctor confirmed a serotonin issue. Which was
quickly remedied.
That was years ago. Way behind me. Exercise and diet have helped me
move on from it. But for Jonathon Trott, I don’t believe it will be that
simple. I imagine it will take him quite a long time and effort to overcome
this. But I think he will. Just look at the tenacity with which he fought it
off for as long as he did. The scraping of then trench; the fiddling with the
gloves; the whole routine, all the while everyone (myself included, sometimes)
sniped at him about it.
It would be easy for us all to sit here and say that he should never
have come on this Ashes trip. Trott knew he had a problem; by making the trip
and failing due in no small part to his illness, he has endangered the team’s
Ashes retention hopes. But it really isn’t that simple. Having read George
Dobell’s excellent piece on this issue, it seems Trott has suffered setbacks
due to this illness in the past, and has always been able to overcome them. Why
would he think this time would be different?
It is also easy to blame the Aussies and their irresponsible media for,
at least in part, contributing to Trott’s latest episode with stress. They
should apologize, the thought may go, because they were being jerks to someone
who was suffering from problems about which they didn’t know. But what should
Trott have done? Announce publicly before he was suffering from a
stress-related illness, and telling the media (and others) to leave him alone?
Can you imagine the firestorm of ridicule? The headlines? “England Wuss Begs
Aussies to Leave Him Alone.” And while my personal opinion is that much of the
media and opposition players are guilty of being jerks and bullies, no apology
is needed because Trott’s problem is, in the end, not of their making. Yes,
Australia, you’ve nothing to do with Trott’s failures. David Warner’s
unprofessional comments were just that. Trott’s flare-up could just as easily
have been domestic cricket or the upcoming World Cup that would have brought it
all to a head. It just happened to happen right now. The problem isn’t
Australia: It is the constant demands of a high pressure expectation to perform
at the top level, while one’s every move is held under a microscope, combined
with other personal, private matters that may also be affecting Trott.
It was the same with my own stress attack those years ago. While the
project I was working on was stressful, it was really the result of the waves
of stress crashing against me for quite some time. What I was working on was
actually quite helpful to the company, a big money-saver, and was having no
negative impact on me at all. But it was going on at the time when those waves
finally broke through.
So, to those players and media who are being blamed or feeling
responsible for Trott’s problems: Before you start either A) strutting around
because you’ve broken one of the “Pommie cheats,” or B) feel horrible and
apologize, remember that you were fairly irrelevant. That should come as a
relief to Aussie media and some players. But it won’t. In fact, unless I am being
grossly unfair, it will likely be taken by some of them as the biggest insult delivered
in this entire episode.